My ex used to say that her great-grandparents didn't get to choose to leave Russia any more than they got to choose who helped them along the way to America. When the falaballahs [apologies to Neal Stephenson] came for her, she didn't want to have burned any bridges or shut out anyone who might now give her aid and succor. It's a dire and gloomy way of thinking. Sadly, it's realistic . . .