It has been interesting reading your public posts of late and, to this one, I felt the need of writing a comment. Not quite a reply, more an abservation or two.
The idea of Tish getting radical is somewhat amusing (and way overdue) and I once met a Kristienne (friend of Adele A?) too who was making a film I think, so nice to know people I once knew are still around, but what I wanted to comment upon was your paragraph on 'stealth'.
Part of deep stealth is the protection of the self, but just as much is the protection of the family. Once upon a time I was a very public and out trans person, but it upset my family who had very good and acceptable reasons for wanting to retain their privacy. The other facet is that set of ceilings you list. I was young when I transitioned and had few problems, such that I quickly realised that although it might be good for 'the community' that I was public and active on their behalf it wasn't likely to be for my future employment and personal life. So I stopped being public but gave private support to the cause whenever I could and quietly drifted into anonymity.
Coming back to the modern day, I am aware that some people now think they know the 'truth' about me, but just as many I can certify do not. Should I upset those who do not? Should I indulge those who might guess something is 'different' about me but aren't certain? Isn't the prevention of the media's intrusion into private lives of every person - LGBTSQQ whatever - something that we should seek to endorse?
I would love to be out about my life history, though 'trans' as a single signifier would miss so much of my true history and would actually be misleading, but I cannot. If I was definite that others knew I would not, could not, ever handle it. It is too far in my past now that to believe it was at all public now would just be too much for me, so deep stealth is the only possible, yet imperfect, alternative. Yes, it is self-censorship but a self-aware silence about a history long past. Why should I ever want to be the next topic of conversation amongst my social circle when it could only be very hurtful to me and those who had no inkling? I do not want fifteen minutes of dubious 'fame' leading to my remaining years in purdah.
And to those who read this, please don't try to guess who I am, even if you think you might know.
no subject
The idea of Tish getting radical is somewhat amusing (and way overdue) and I once met a Kristienne (friend of Adele A?) too who was making a film I think, so nice to know people I once knew are still around, but what I wanted to comment upon was your paragraph on 'stealth'.
Part of deep stealth is the protection of the self, but just as much is the protection of the family. Once upon a time I was a very public and out trans person, but it upset my family who had very good and acceptable reasons for wanting to retain their privacy. The other facet is that set of ceilings you list. I was young when I transitioned and had few problems, such that I quickly realised that although it might be good for 'the community' that I was public and active on their behalf it wasn't likely to be for my future employment and personal life. So I stopped being public but gave private support to the cause whenever I could and quietly drifted into anonymity.
Coming back to the modern day, I am aware that some people now think they know the 'truth' about me, but just as many I can certify do not. Should I upset those who do not? Should I indulge those who might guess something is 'different' about me but aren't certain? Isn't the prevention of the media's intrusion into private lives of every person - LGBTSQQ whatever - something that we should seek to endorse?
I would love to be out about my life history, though 'trans' as a single signifier would miss so much of my true history and would actually be misleading, but I cannot. If I was definite that others knew I would not, could not, ever handle it. It is too far in my past now that to believe it was at all public now would just be too much for me, so deep stealth is the only possible, yet imperfect, alternative. Yes, it is self-censorship but a self-aware silence about a history long past. Why should I ever want to be the next topic of conversation amongst my social circle when it could only be very hurtful to me and those who had no inkling? I do not want fifteen minutes of dubious 'fame' leading to my remaining years in purdah.
And to those who read this, please don't try to guess who I am, even if you think you might know.