As most of you know, I am poet GOH and have an extensive programme - I will be pretty much ON all the time, and in the bar, though not drinking alcohol. Coffee and fruit juice always acceptable.
I will be happy to offer my services, should they be required, as an emergency backup: a sort of Poet Transitvaniate* and a reliable supplier of Limericks for those individuals and occasions that don't quite inspire or justify proper poetry.
* Like a Poet Laureate, but driven by plasterers and plumbers rather than by muses.
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* Like a Poet Laureate, but driven by plasterers and plumbers rather than by muses.