"the trauma of being forced to be a boy when i was a girl was pretty bad: i started attempting suicide when I was 6 and by 9 i was too depressed to even try. As a small child I also repeatedly tried to remedy the situation through self surgery - which is remarkably difficult - nature put our genitals where they are for a reason."
That sounds extremely difficult and traumatic for you. And of course you should receive help and support. But I still don't think that your trauma means that you are a woman.
"your comments point to a basic question - how do you know you are a woman? And a futher question why should I accept that your a women just because you say so?"
As I have said in a previous post I know I am a woman because I was born in a female body. You don't need to accept this, but both institutions in society and everyone I meet does accept that I am a woman. Do people and institutions accept you are a woman?
"do you know much about intersexulity?....How would you see a partner who had been labeled as a girl at birth but actually had been porn with a penis that had been "reduced" to fit within the feamle norms?" If a partner had been born intersex, a choice had been made about which sex to make the baby through surgery and female was chosen and she had been brought up as a girl, I would see her as a woman.
"you mention that you would feel tricked into sex if you had had sex with a trans man, so you would feel tricked if an ex-lover whom you thought was female subsquently changes their sex to become a man? " No because I would still see them as a woman - a confused woman, but a woman nevertheless.
"you say your a lesbian feminist - why should I aceept to you as being a lesbian feminist? I known plenty of lesbians who used to have sex with men, and even have sex with men, yet still describe themselves as lesbian, should I accept them as lesbians, why should i accept what you say?" You don't have to is the obvious answer. I personally don't think the fact that a lesbian has previously slept with a man means she is not a lesbian. There is lots of pressure on young lesbians to conform to straight society and it takes a lot for a young lesbian to stand up to that. But I wouldn't view a woman who slept with men to be a lesbian.
"btw the answer is because we run this world on trust, and if you say your a lesbian that's good enough for me." So if a man who identified as a man said he is a lesbian you would accept that? I think words mean something and they are not just whatever people want them to mean.
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Date: 2012-04-18 12:46 am (UTC)That sounds extremely difficult and traumatic for you. And of course you should receive help and support. But I still don't think that your trauma means that you are a woman.
"your comments point to a basic question - how do you know you are a woman?
And a futher question why should I accept that your a women just because you say so?"
As I have said in a previous post I know I am a woman because I was born in a female body. You don't need to accept this, but both institutions in society and everyone I meet does accept that I am a woman. Do people and institutions accept you are a woman?
"do you know much about intersexulity?....How would you see a partner who had been labeled as a girl at birth but actually had been porn with a penis that had been "reduced" to fit within the feamle norms?"
If a partner had been born intersex, a choice had been made about which sex to make the baby through surgery and female was chosen and she had been brought up as a girl, I would see her as a woman.
"you mention that you would feel tricked into sex if you had had sex with a trans man, so you would feel tricked if an ex-lover whom you thought was female subsquently changes their sex to become a man? "
No because I would still see them as a woman - a confused woman, but a woman nevertheless.
"you say your a lesbian feminist - why should I aceept to you as being a lesbian feminist? I known plenty of lesbians who used to have sex with men, and even have sex with men, yet still describe themselves as lesbian, should I accept them as lesbians, why should i accept what you say?"
You don't have to is the obvious answer. I personally don't think the fact that a lesbian has previously slept with a man means she is not a lesbian. There is lots of pressure on young lesbians to conform to straight society and it takes a lot for a young lesbian to stand up to that. But I wouldn't view a woman who slept with men to be a lesbian.
"btw the answer is because we run this world on trust, and if you say your a lesbian that's good enough for me."
So if a man who identified as a man said he is a lesbian you would accept that? I think words mean something and they are not just whatever people want them to mean.
Lesley