CATULLUS 23

[rozk]

Furius, your poor home lacks both safe and slave,
no heating, but no spiders and no fleas.
Your father and your new stepmother have
teeth that can chew through flints as if through cheese.

And you're just snug there, for the three of you
get on so well. All of you have your health,
all of you look good. Nothing troubles you.
No arson, earthquakes, plots against your wealth

No poisoners can harm you; danger stays
far off. Your bodies must have been freeze-dried
to be so tough. On Winter's coldest days
or when there's famine, father and his bride

and you are cheerful. And you still complain?
You never sweat or drool; your fine long nose
is never snotty. And you never deign
to fart or splatter shit. It's like a rose

your sweet, intricate arse-hole is so clean
your friends could eat from it. And once a year
you squat ten minutes and produce a bean
or something like one, delicate and clear

More like a pearl than shit. Your fingers touch
it and are not stained. Furius,you're so
blessed in all ways so very very much
you do not need the tenner that I owe.

Comments

[rozk.livejournal.com]

Part of the key to translating Catullus is understanding the fact that he is REALLY FUNNY. This one is fairly literal - and to still be funny after two thousand years is something of an achievement.

[willshetterly.livejournal.com]

I'd only heard about Catullus a year or two ago and seen a couple of poems in translation. Yours rock.