Speaking personally my preference is for people who smell like men and have male organs although I can't tell which individuals I might really fancy until I actually meet them. I wouldn't wish to deny a different sexual preference to you. Autonomy over our own bodies and what we do with them is something very close to the heart of most trans people. However again personally I would never rule out sex with anybody who I found myself fancying. Unless and until a situation arises I've always found it seldom wise to say 'never'.
My own view is that no trans person should ever be obliged to conceal their trans status or history and in practice I think the imagined fear of deception by a trans person is seldom the reality unless fear of rejection is a component in that trans person's thinking. Cisgenderist ideology and antagonism to trans people does nothing to help reduce this fear.
One thing I would ask you to considerer is your language. I believe when you refer to a 'Trans man', you are actually meaning a trans woman = a trans person who identifies as female. It's not really possible to claim to be supportive of trans people without taking this on board.
If you know much about intersex, you should also be aware that many intersex adults find the idea that a decision should be made concerning their reproductive organs soon after birth to be mutilation unless not to have made such a decision would endangered their life. Again this is about autonomy over their own bodies. I find your sexual preference for a certain genital configuration and even socialisation perfectly understandable but this does present a paradox. How would you feel if a surgeon's whim at birth had created a vagina in a person who was socialised as female but who was, at the time of intimacy, closeted in identifying as male?
You say 'trans people are not intersex'. This is unlikely to be scientifically correct. Accumulating data suggests that trans people do have a variety of physical similarities to the gender they identify with, mainly neurological. I cannot assert this with absolute scientific certainty at the present time but no more can you assert that trans people are not intersex.
My own view is that theory and speculation are not helpful in these situations. Respect and a more gentle approach to each other is always preferable. As Roz has stated, nobody is asking anybody else to have sex with anybody else ... but nor do they have to express revulsion at the very idea of sexual intimacy in some combination which does not appeal to them.
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Date: 2012-04-18 10:45 am (UTC)Speaking personally my preference is for people who smell like men and have male organs although I can't tell which individuals I might really fancy until I actually meet them. I wouldn't wish to deny a different sexual preference to you. Autonomy over our own bodies and what we do with them is something very close to the heart of most trans people. However again personally I would never rule out sex with anybody who I found myself fancying. Unless and until a situation arises I've always found it seldom wise to say 'never'.
My own view is that no trans person should ever be obliged to conceal their trans status or history and in practice I think the imagined fear of deception by a trans person is seldom the reality unless fear of rejection is a component in that trans person's thinking. Cisgenderist ideology and antagonism to trans people does nothing to help reduce this fear.
One thing I would ask you to considerer is your language. I believe when you refer to a 'Trans man', you are actually meaning a trans woman = a trans person who identifies as female. It's not really possible to claim to be supportive of trans people without taking this on board.
If you know much about intersex, you should also be aware that many intersex adults find the idea that a decision should be made concerning their reproductive organs soon after birth to be mutilation unless not to have made such a decision would endangered their life. Again this is about autonomy over their own bodies. I find your sexual preference for a certain genital configuration and even socialisation perfectly understandable but this does present a paradox. How would you feel if a surgeon's whim at birth had created a vagina in a person who was socialised as female but who was, at the time of intimacy, closeted in identifying as male?
You say 'trans people are not intersex'. This is unlikely to be scientifically correct. Accumulating data suggests that trans people do have a variety of physical similarities to the gender they identify with, mainly neurological. I cannot assert this with absolute scientific certainty at the present time but no more can you assert that trans people are not intersex.
My own view is that theory and speculation are not helpful in these situations. Respect and a more gentle approach to each other is always preferable. As Roz has stated, nobody is asking anybody else to have sex with anybody else ... but nor do they have to express revulsion at the very idea of sexual intimacy in some combination which does not appeal to them.